Grammar is the Bermuda Triangle of high school English. You open the textbook and before you know it, you’ve disappeared into a vortex of confusion where no one can find you and you can’t get out. Everyone knows this. I will be so bold as to say even the teachers know this.
My high school English experience started with the poor teacher whose singular accomplishment was drilling us that it’s pronounced gramMAR, not gramMER. She would open the sessions with “Take out your gramMAR books, please.” That was it. That’s as far as she got. I don’t blame her. She tried her best. I don’t know what they’re doing now in school, but when I was in school, we had the fish.
Do you know about the fish? This is the diagram that was supposed to help you dissect a sentence to understand its grammatical components, your nouns, your adjectives, your main clause, your dependent clause . . . and when you finished it kind of looked like a fish?
How does this help me? How does ripping apart a sentence and cutting it up into chunks of words, and placing them on separate lines help me? Hunh? It didn’t; it doesn’t. It just confuses me and puts me off seafood.
Not that I didn’t enjoy English. I did. I was (and still am) a voracious reader. But my method for passing multiple choice grammar tests in high school consisted of the system “if It looks right and sounds right, it is right.” Not scientific, but it worked. I’ve been writing fiction for well over twenty years, but it’s only in the last ten years that I’ve gotten serious about grammar. When I finally reached the stage of studying for my Master’s degree, I mentioned to my advisor, “I think I need to strengthen my grammar.” She suggested The Least You Need to Know About English. I tried Version A. I went through the entire book; it helped. But it was only the beginning.
So How Much Grammar Do You Need?
I’ve heard arguments for and against how much a writer needs to know about grammar. Many authors have been known to flout the rules of grammar for artistic reasons.
There is also the argument that good grammar isn’t necessary for a manuscript. If a writer is fortunate to secure a deal with a publisher, there’s an editor, and then copyeditors to take care of “the commas and shit.” Yes, that’s true, but turning in a manuscript that looks like your grammar came out of a blender is going to up the ante that something may go awry. In my opinion, it’s better to turn in the cleanest manuscript you can. If you’re self-publishing, nothing says “What this hell was this author thinking?” than a published book riddled with misspelled words and poorly punctuated sentences.
I say this with a caveat: grammar gremlins do exist. They are real. I’ve checked my manuscripts until I can’t focus. I also have an editor who checks the book; and then I check it again. Still, I’ve had “Oh shit” moments after publication when I realize one of those pesky pains in the ass managed to sneak through.
I’ve checked this blog post five times.
If you find something, go ahead and tell me. It’s okay.
Oy vey.
It’s a Grammar Riddle: Quick Watson, the Reference Book!
I’m as particular about my grammar resources as I am about the journal books I use for my drafts. Believe or not, a grammar reference book is a personal choice; no two reference books are quite the same. The book’s topics have to be arranged in such a way that works for the writer. I keep four or five reference books including a Chicago Manual of Style and an ancient, dog-eared Grammar and Punctuation Thesaurus that my mother loaned me. On top of that, I use several excellent grammar guide resource websites, for questions the books don’t address.
Yet, after all this time, there are grammar issues I still have to look up every time, no matter how many times I’ve done it before:
Is it lay or lie? Or is it lain? Or laid? Is there a chart somewhere? Can I get a freakin’ chart for this?
Is it “priveledge” or “privledge”? Or “priviledge”? Or none of the above? Yes, I know Word has autocorrect. Shouldn’t I know how to spell this? And don’t get me started on ”occassion.” Or “ocassion.” O crap.
And what about misplaced modifiers? What if I can’t find them again? What if I don’t remember the last place I saw them? I don’t put down breadcrumbs. Am I screwed?
I do not want to talk about my dangling participles. I try to keep them in check, really I do. Every time I strap them in, they come loose. And is that my fault?
And why is the adverb the enemy of the fiction writer? What has the adverb ever done to anyone that it should be so reviled and cast out, shunned and ignored? I really don’t see why an adverb is so terribly bad to use; I find it extremely helpful.
I used to tutor ESL adults in grammar, and it was one of my favorite activities. I hope my students enjoyed it as much as I did! So, in honor of these questions and conundrums (and many more), I will be blogging about grammar for the foreseeable future. If you’re a writer, it is my opinion that you need to know some grammar; it will make you a better writer. If you’ve been frustrated by the subject, I believe you too can get your grammar on and it can be painless, even, dare I say it, enjoyable.
So, are you in?
If you would like me to guest post on your blog, I love to write about all things literary (and pop culture too!) Please get in touch with me at jillamy@jillamyrosenblatt.com
Want to post this on your blog? Please feel free but please post with the credit below and a link back to my blog. That would be awesome and I appreciate it.
Jill Amy Rosenblatt is the author of Project Jennifer and For Better or Worse, published by Kensington Press. The Fixer series is Jill’s first adventure in self-publishing. The first three books in the series, The Naked Man, The Killing Kind, and The Last Romanov are available in paperback and e-book formats at all major online retailers. Visit Jill at her website, http://www.jillamyrosenblatt.com