I'm Just Saying…

December 13, 2012

The “Annus Horribilis”

Filed under: Daily Life — jillamyrosenblatt @ 10:13 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

It was the rat that did it. As the repugnant rodent scurried out from under the stove, I knew a year that had started off poorly and progressed steadily downhill, had given up the ghost. My response was that of any normal, reasonable person: I began to scream like a banshee.

There are certain years that should be written off, stricken from the record, banished to the no-man’s land of irretrievable memory. In those years, when someone comments to me in December, “I can’t believe this year is almost over,” I respond in a heartbeat: “Good riddance.” Such was my 2012.

I admit to a yin-yang view of life’s difficulties. Even as trouble parks itself at my door, I am mindful that somewhere on someone else’s doorstep sits an even bigger pile of crap. I’ve even adopted quaint platitudes to downplay the bumps in my road such as “Not a problem,” “I can deal with this,” and my personal favorite, “It’s not a kidney.”

My “don’t worry, be happy” stance is further complicated by sound bites from my Judeo-Christian upbringing, liberally sprinkled with Buddhist and Taoist tidbits. With all this in mind, my 2012 breaks down roughly like this:

Late January – Early February: Breakup with boyfriend I thought was “the one.” (Studying for Master’s Degree.)
Judeo-Christian Wisdom: Fear not, God has a plan for your life. This wasn’t the right road. You don’t want to be on the wrong road? Do you? Well, do you? Hunh?
Buddhist Wisdom: Desire leads to suffering. Suffering clouds vision and judgment. Practice non-desire and learn how to “see” clearly. (NOTE: consuming copious amount of Häagen Dazs post-breakup does NOT improve mental and emotional “sight.” I’m just saying.)
Taoist Wisdom: Relax, be still. Let life flow, like water trickling over rocks in the stream.
Jewish Mother’s Wisdom: There are plenty of other “pebbles” in the stream.

 
Mid February – Early May: Persistent, painful right ear infection requires multiple courses of antibiotics. (Still studying for Master’s Degree. )
Judeo-Christian Wisdom: Either A) Into each life comes suffering, B) God never gives anyone more than they can handle, or C) God is testing you, to help you grow. Choose growth maxim of your choice, whatever works for you.
Buddhist Wisdom: The word Dukkha means suffering. Everyone experiences dukkha. As dukkha begins, it must also eventually end. However, there is another word, karma. Karma is the concept of cosmic payback. If you do something bad, then bad things will come back to you. Houston, do we have a problem?
Taoist Wisdom: Your body is out of balance with nature. Your life is not in harmony. Relax into the flow of life until you return to balance.
Jewish Mother’s Wisdom: You want balance? Eat chicken soup, put your books away, and get more than four hours of sleep a night.

 

Late May – Mid October: Mother falls at the gym and breaks a wrist. Ear infection returns, blooms into a throat infection. More courses of antibiotics. (Still studying for Master’s Degree. )
Judeo Christian Wisdom: Some are chosen to go through times of trial but everything happens for a reason. Don’t be upset if everyone shuns you like a leper. They’re afraid your “kiss of disaster” aura is going to rub off.
Buddhist Wisdom: Think carefully. Did you insult anyone? Push an old lady off the curb? Kick a dog? Make a baby cry? Something? Anything?
Taoist Wisdom: Do not struggle against the tide of each day. Let your actions flow. Immerse yourself in each task naturally, without thought. This is known as “doing by non-doing”.
Jewish Mother’s Wisdom: You want to do something? Bring me an extra pillow to prop up my arm. This freakin’ cast weighs a ton.

 
November: Rodent visitors in the kitchen. (Finishing Master’s Thesis. Less than one month to defense presentation.)
Judeo-Christian Wisdom: I’m out. I’ve got nothing.
Buddhist Wisdom: Your karma is shot to shit. Burn sage. Try a cleanse. Hire a Feng Shui consultant. At this point, anything is an improvement.
Taoist Wisdom: Find a new stream. Better yet, get yourself a boat and ride the stream out of town. You need a change of zip code, my friend.
Jewish Mother’s Wisdom: Thank God this year is almost over. And will you stop reading all that crap? Shit happens.

 
So the rodents came. I became hysterical and abandoned the kitchen. However, I lost those ten extra pounds. You see? It’s that yin and yang again. I’m still afraid to go into the kitchen but it wasn’t a kidney. I’ve never mastered the balance between “there are people who have it worse,” and “everything is relative.”

 
I do worry that my off-kilter Karma won’t right itself. In the meantime, I’m going to fool the fates. This New Year’s Eve I will be in bed with the lights out by ten o’clock. There will be no toasts, no predictions, and absolutely no resolutions. I’m going off the grid. I’m going dark. The last time I made the mistake of saying “I think it’s going to be a great year,” I had an $800 car repair bill and a cracked molar before Groundhog Day.

I’m just saying.

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4 Comments »

  1. Your writing is amazing! It was supposed to be a 15min coffee break for me; two hours and I can’t stop reading …

    Where is the subscribe button? 🙂

    Comment by Andrew — July 2, 2013 @ 12:25 pm | Reply

  2. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I appreciate it! 🙂

    Comment by jillamyrosenblatt — July 7, 2013 @ 8:46 pm | Reply

  3. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make
    this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz reply as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like
    to find out where u got this from. appreciate it

    Comment by cleveland oh qualities for sale — February 22, 2014 @ 9:51 am | Reply

    • No, not at all. I’m not very handy with making websites. I used the wordpress theme rubric. I only hired someone to make the “I’m Just Saying” girl at the top and uploaded the drawing. WordPress.com has a lot of nice themes that are free. I hope you find one you like. Good Luck!! 🙂

      Comment by jillamyrosenblatt — February 23, 2014 @ 11:58 pm | Reply


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