I'm Just Saying…

January 25, 2011

On A Positive Note…

Filed under: Daily Life — jillamyrosenblatt @ 12:45 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

I hate this time of year, the “winter blues” time of year. It always sneaks up on me. I never feel it coming on until it dawns on me I’m coming home from work every day and going right to bed. After a full night’s sleep I wake up wishing I had another 12 hours to get a little more shuteye. If I’m not sleeping, I’m sitting in my chair, staring at the television with a glazed look, engrossed in mindless channel flipping. And yes, I own a big fuzzy robe with matching fuzzy slippers. In case you were wondering.

Something else happens this time of year. As the snow piles up, feelings of positivity and hopefulness take a nosedive. Everything is bleak, bad, even hopeless. Nothing matters and no amount of effort will come to any good. I begin to resemble Charlie Brown’s summer camp roommate, the kid who sat facing the wall, his only words, “Shut up and leave me alone.” I’m depressed just writing this.

I used to combat the winter blues by extensive eating. After all, since when doesn’t a heaping bowl of spaghetti drowning in butter sauce in the middle of January make it all better? But now that I’ve developed more healthy habits, I don’t even have comfort food to comfort me. Let’s face it, a plate of grilled vegetables may be hot, but it’s just not the same.

I have no doubt by April the sun will be shining and my mood will probably lift with the temperature. However, this whole experience has me thinking about positivity in general. For the past year or so I have been seeking out books, tapes, etc., from today’s popular speakers on the subject of positivity, attracting positivity, affirming positivity…you see where I’m going with this. I had been actively trying to cultivate a sunnier outlook on life…until now. However, I have a question: at some point, are we messing with nature trying to change who we are? Is it possible that some people are more naturally positive and for others it’s at best, a learned behavior? And consider this: if looking on the bleak side of life were not a viable way to live, comedians would be out of work.

I was never really a Suzy Sunshine. Whenever the possibility of something good happening appeared, I barely blinked before I was sucking my mental thumb in a panic, imagining all of the ways everything could go wrong before the “good thing” had a chance to happen. I became accustomed to living this way, even creating my own petite Jill Manifesto:

A pessimist expects the shit will hit the fan.

A fatalist is resigned the shit may hit the fan

An optimist won’t admit how much shit they’re really in

So I have a problem with positivity. As a result I have no doubt spent many a year with my chi out of whack, my karma off kilter. And yet I was trying to change…until now. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m reading “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey, which is not strictly a book on positive thinking but it plays a part. So far it’s a really good book. I haven’t seen a massive change yet. I’m only on Habit #1. I have a ways to go.

Perhaps there is a secret, a magic potion, a formula for creating a positive, affirming state of mind that sees “yes” instead of “no,” that believes even if dreams have gone unfulfilled every day up until yesterday, today can be different.

Or maybe I should eat a big plate of spaghetti in butter sauce, take some Vitamin D, and sleep until spring.

Stay warm 🙂

 J.

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